I've got talent

Since I left school in January, I have been giving a lot of thought to my place in the world. Obviously my primary position is that of domestic goddess - that is why I left school. But there is always a nagging "there has to be more" kind of feeling somewhere in the back of my head. Part of that is my need for mental stimulation on some level other than Sesame Street, but another part is knowing that motherhood is only for season and wondering what else is in store for me.

So I have been reading a lot. I spent about a month studying Roman life in the first century. I memorized the first chapter of Ephesians (I intend to eventually memorize the entire book). Right now I'm reading a New Testament Survey book that I borrowed from a friend who is in seminary. But I have also been looking for ways that I can get involved in something outside the house - to be able to make an impact on something, somewhere without interfering with family life.

Before I went back to school I had looked into volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center, but dropped that idea to pursue a new degree. Out of the blue, someone called me from the center a few weeks ago - wanting to know if I was still interested in helping. The funny part is, she thought the note to call me was a few weeks old but it was dated April 2006 not April 2007. I thought that this might be just the thing for me right now, so I agreed to go in and learn the ropes.

The place is called New Hope. They offer counseling and abortion alternatives. You can check them out here http://www.newhopefamilyservices.com/ For girls who chose to keep their babies they offer physical support with things like cribs, diapers and clothes. The job I volunteered for involves sorting out donations and keeping the "Care Corner" organized. They have a good sized room that is overflowing with baby clothes - boxes, bags, and piles of clothes all over the place. It is pretty overwhelming when you walk in there (there really isn't much room to walk). So after an orientation, I spent about an hour sorting clothes - some needed to be laundered, some needed to be thrown away, and the rest needed to be sorted by size, gender, and season.

The woman who was training me kept saying "Wow, you've really got a head for this!" And after observing the way a few other people worked in there I realized that this is not apparently a job that anybody can do. So this week I discovered that I have a talent for sorting clothes. Who knew? And wouldn't you think that a person with such talents would have a clean house? But alas, this is not the case!

Well, our vacation has come to an end, and reality sucks! OK, well reality isn't that bad, but it isn't nearly as fun as being on vacation. I haven't done much of anything (except sleep) since we got home Friday morning, but today I finished uploading the last of the vacation pictures...

Wednesday we did go to the children's museum, and we also went to the "rainbow market" in downtown Charleston. The children's museum was kind of like Strong's Museum in Rochester (Strong's is bigger, but this one did have some neat things for the kids to do). They played in a shrimping boat for a long time - there were even rubber boots for the kids to wear, which is exciting if you're Gabe and you have a thing for rain boots (Yellow rain boots are the only thing he wore on his feet for almost a year!) In this picture, they are all in the little lifeboat that was off to the side of the shrimping boat.

They had an area where the kids could "paint" with water, which is a fun thing for them to do in the summer time on the side of the garage or fence... Cadence thought it was great.

They also had a medieval room that looked like a castle and had all kinds of dress up stuff in it. One thing that found at the museum and at the park we went to, is that people really are more polite down south! In Syracuse, if you take your kids to the park (or a museum or anything like that) the parents are completely disinterested in their children, usually talking on a cell phone, and only take notice if they think your kid has done something wrong to their kid - they pay no attention to the fact that their kid won't take turns and completely lacks manners. But down there, every where we went, parents were right on top of their kids making them take turns, say excuse me, etc. As a result, taking the kids to do things where there are other kids around was a much more pleasant experience than we are used to!

The last big thing we did on vacation was a hike through Biedler Swamp. There is a boardwalk built through the swamp, but other than that it is undisturbed - they don't do anything to encourage or discourage the animals from being near the boardwalk. The boys were really hoping to see more gators, and they were a little disappointed that didn't happen, but we saw lots of neat things! We saw a couple different kinds of turtles, lots and lots of dragon flies, and 3 snakes. One snake was up close and personal. It was right on the railing of the boardwalk. Jacob really wanted to touch it, but we were asked not to disturb the wildlife, so I wouldn't let him. I think he would have chickened out anyway, what do you think?

The kids really enjoyed getting to know their cousins, and of course all the time with "Bobby and Nanny". That is the first time EVER that we have taken a full week of vacation (even our honeymoon was a few days short of a week). We had a great time, but why is "relaxing" so exhausting? Now I must go and subdue the laundry!

More from South Carolina

As promised, here are some pictures from our trip to the plantation Sunday. Only Todd and his dad went on the house tour, but there was lots of other stuff that we got to see. The first thing we did was go on a boat tour - it was pretty neat. We saw lots of gators, but were kind of disappointed that we only saw small ones, I don't think any of them were bigger than 5 ft. We also saw all kinds of birds, including a blue herring.

After the boat ride and a quick walk through some of the gardens (which Jacob quickly pointed out is boring!), we took the kids through the petting zoo. I know, your thinking "YUCK" - 'cause I was. I hate petting zoos and dirty animals trying to lick my hands and my kids touching them. However, I dare say that this particular petting zoo has been the highlight of my trip so far. Furthermore, it is possible that everyone else who has participated in this experience would agree with me. What was so special about this petting zoo you ask? Nothing. It was far from exceptional. It contained a bunch of deer, some "ugly ducks", a peacock or two, some goats (this one was sitting on a bench - is that exceptional?)and some pigs. There was also a little reptile room that had snakes and lizards, which of course the boys loved. But wait, lets go back to the pigs for a minuet.

As we were meandering about, one of the piggies had to empty its bladder. We giggled about the fact that we got to see the pig go pee. But the pig wasn't done - bowels also needed to be moved. "Oh gross, he is pooping" we said laughingly. Enter pig number 2, very curious about the pile pig #1 has left on the ground. Yes, that piggie ate his friend's poopie. But that wasn't enough, oh no! He then chased his friend around sniffing at his butt (he must have still been hungry). Then they starting fighting over the poop! In the midst of it all, I kept thinking "Do I take a picture of this or not?" I know my kids will talk about this moment for years to come, should it be preserved forever in a photograph? Well, fortunately for you none of us could quite bring ourselves to take a picture of the poop eating fiasco. If we had, you would be looking at it right now.

I'm not sure why we were all so amused by that little ordeal, maybe I've been bringing up boys without much contact with the outside world for too long...or maybe it really was that funny. You decide.

Sunday concluded with a mother's day dinner cooked by Todd and his dad (with almost no help from the women) which included his sister and her family. I didn't get anything for mother's day yet - not sure I'm going to...I guess expecting Todd to plan ahead and have gifts for me would be unreasonable. Oh well, he is the best darn man I know so I guess I can live without a mother's day present once. After all, I have forgotten our anniversary twice in six years. (If anyone would like to send me a friendly reminder - year seven is coming up July 1)

Today Todd's sister took the day off of work so that she could spend some time with us. We all (10 of us) went to Fort Sumter. I must say, I was a little disappointed. Being history buffs, we have been to our share of forts, and Fort Sumter - one of the most significant in our countries history has got to be one of the lamest. We did skip the official guided tour and opted instead for the Dr. Young version. (Todd's dad is a U.S. history prof.) But I don't think the 15 min. tour would have added a whole lot to the experience. The view and the boat ride are beautiful, and now I can say "I've been to Fort Sumter." Here is the gang of kids next to one of the cannons

After the fort, Todd's family headed home and we headed more fun...almost. Both Gabriel and Cadence have been battling allergies for the last several weeks, and right before we left for vacation it moved in on their lungs - both kids are wheezing like crazy. They started Singular the middle of last week and we are supposed to be using the nebulizer every 4 hours on 2 kids. Every 4 hours wasn't happening (more like once or twice a day) because I thought they were clearing up, but they're not. So the last couple of days I have been trying to be more consistent, which is pretty tough when you're on vacation. We brought the nebulizer with us, hoping that we could find a place to plug it in and sit for 30 or 40 minuets while both little ones got treatments. Thankfully, there were outlets near our van in the parking garage. So we ate our lunch and then sat on the ground in a parking garage for what felt like forever. I couldn't help but wonder what people were thinking as they passed us. Gabe decided he would look better if he put his sunglasses on with his mask.

Finally, we went to the aquarium (which the kids LOVED) and a carriage tour of Charleston. Unfortunately, most of the aquarium pictures didn't come out well, and there wasn't much to take pictures of on the tour. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring - maybe the children's museum.

Surprise!!

We arrived in South Carolina Friday Morning to surprise my mother-in-law for Mother's Day. We have been planning the trip for months, and it wasn't easy to stay quiet about it! Todd's sister and brother-in-law live just a few houses away from his parents, so the kids have been having lots of fun playing together.


Yesterday it was my birthday. For reasons that I cannot explain, I tend to be completely unaware of special days like birthdays and anniversaries, even my own. (I have forgotten our anniversary TWICE!) When I got up Saturday morning Todd and the kids were gone - my father-in-law explained to me that they had gone to get donuts for breakfast. I was a little irritated since I had made sure to get cereal for us to eat while we were here, and had explained that to Todd several times...but he likes donuts, so whatever. But when they came home, I saw a bouquet of flowers come out the van and then it occured to me "It's my birthday, they went to do something special for me."


Apparently Todd was planning on getting me some sort of Giants paraphernalia for my birthday, but at 4 AM Saturday it occurred to him that NY football is probably not popular in SC. So he got me some new cookie sheets (I desperately needed them) and a cute candle and the boys insisted on getting me roses (they will make good husbands some day!). He meant to serve me breakfast in bed, so he was not happy that I had gotten up while he was gone, but I didn't really want crumbs in my sheets anyway.


Everyone came over for cake after dinner and the kids had a great time having squirt gun fights. Gabe and his cousin John are only 8 days apart - in the first two pictures you can see Gabe pursuing and defeating John.

Cadence was probably the most aggressive of the group!

Then, out of the bushes came daddy with his big guns. He argues that it was still fair because there were 5 kids and only one of him. Forget about the fact that 4 of those kids are preschoolers and they were all equipped with tiny little dollar store pistols!

Today we went to one of the plantations where we saw gators and all kinds of birds...pictures of that later...oh yeah, happy Mother's Day!

Daniel 6:27

"He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions." Daniel 6:27, NIV

That verse was brought to my mind a few weeks ago in church, to share with our congregation as I knew there were a lot of people going through hard things. At the time, I didn't need any signs or wonders....

Last night I spoke with Jacob's father, and lets just say that the conversation didn't go well! Among other things, he informed me that he was filing papers to get him for 2 nights every other weekend (he currently gets him for 24 hours every other weekend). Now, for those of you who don't know - David is not a bad guy. He really does care about Jacob, and he doesn't engage in any kind of behavior that would give me grounds to say "you are bad for my son". However, he was not a consistent part of Jacob's life until Jake was 5 years old, so Jacob doesn't really like the whole situation. (He has told us on many occasions that he wishes "Daddy" could adopt him, so he didn't have to go with Dave every other weekend. But Dave will not sign off on Jacob.)

I explained to David why I didn't think that was best for Jacob (just like I always do), and asked him to consider it from Jacob's perspective. Yes, the whole situation stinks and as adults both Dave and I are dealing with consequences of a decision we made, but it is WRONG to allow those consequences to fall on Jacob's shoulders. Todd and I have been noticing that Jacob's "abnormal" behaviors peak in the few days after a weekend with Dave, and are nearly gone about a week after he has seen Dave. But Dave was adamant that Jacob needs to be his family more and he was going to file the papers and he didn't care if I got a lawyer.

So, I was pretty angry when I hung up the phone. Angry that my son was being put in a position that is not good for him. Angry that this "father" cares more for his own feelings than his son's. Angry that this man who has frequently lied to me (and never been lied to by me) refuses to take me at my word where our son's well being is involved.

As you can guess, I found it hard to sleep with all of this weighing so heavily on my heart. While I was laying there feeling helpless and frustrated, I started to talk to God about it. Really, I started to plead with God to intercede on my son's behalf - to fight for Jacob where I cannot. I discussed with God the battle that has waged in my mind over how free will and God's intervention relate to each other. (I understand that sin and suffering are results of free will, and I believe that God is able to intervene in any given situation, but if he was always stepping in, then how free is our free will?) And as I poured my heart out to the Father, he brought Daniel 6:27 back to my mind. I was able to confidently look at other people's problems and tell them that God will accomplish that which he has begun, and then it occurred to me that God is able, and yes - even willing to work miracles for me.

This afternoon, Dave called again. It was like talking to a completely different person. He said he kept thinking about it, and he really wants what is best for Jacob. He does want to hear it from Jacob's own mouth, but he is willing to consider that always pushing for more might not be best. I suggested that we sit down with a counselor to mediate, and let Jacob meet with the counselor separately, and he said that was a good idea. We may be able to see resolution with out taking it to court!!!!

So please pray that God's will may be done and that Jacob will be protected through all of this. My own prayer is that Dave will sign Jacob over to Todd and allow Jacob to decide when he wants to go see David - we would never stand in the way of it if it was what Jacob wanted to do.